Movie Review – “Mad Max: Fury Road”

May 15, 2015 at 1:52 pm Leave a comment

Photo from Rotten Tomatoes.

It’s been a week since I saw Mad Max: Fury Road, and I can’t really explain why I’ve sat on this review for so long, other than I just don’t really know what to say about this movie. It’s ridiculous. All sorts of ridiculous. I guess a good way to describe what I really think is to attempt to transcribe what I was thinking when watching one of the many action set pieces.

(The bad guy, Immortan Joe, has just rounded up a war party to go searching for Charlize Theron’s Imperator Furiosa)

Wow, that’s a lot of dudes to go searching for one woman. And they’re all kinda psycho. Woah, is that Tom Hardy strapped to the hood of that dude’s car? That’s crazy.

WTF. There’s this truck full of taiko drummers. Guess they’re getting this little army amped up for battle.

Wait. Is that a wall of speakers in front of those drummers? Is that truck basically made of speakers and amps? That’s nuts.

Hold up. Hold the #$%^ up. Is that a guitar player shredding on his guitar in front of that wall of speakers? Oh wait, no, he’s suspended in front of the wall of speakers. HE’S DANGLING IN FRONT OF A WALL OF SPEAKERS WHILE RIDING ON THIS TRUCK WITH DRUMMERS BANGING AWAY BEHIND HIM. AND HE’S SHREDDING CRAZY GUITAR RIFFS.

Oh, oh, now his guitar spits fire. IT SPITS  #$%^-ING FIRE.

Alright, the chase is on. There’s these hedgehog or porcupine-looking cars trying to kill Charlize Theron. Now there’s cars crashing all over the place.

Oh damn, Tom Hardy can’t do a damn thing tied to the hood of that car. And now that car is trying to crash into Charlize Theron. This is nuts. Now they’re throwing explosive spears all over the place.

Now there’s dudes hanging from long-ass sticks trying to get on top of Charlize Theron’s truck. It’s like a damned Cirque du Soleil show up in this ish.

There’s a sandstorm coming. Damn, nature, you scary.

Oh shiznit, they’re actually going to drive into that storm. Oh hell, there’s lightning and tornadoes all over the place.

IS THAT #$%^-ING TORNADO ON FIRE?

How the hell is Tom Hardy still alive?

How is anyone alive?

WHAT AM I WATCHING?!

Photo from Rotten Tomatoes.

And I was smiling for the entire movie.

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Entry filed under: movies. Tags: , , , , , .

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